It’s natural that people have said many funny things about kayaking in its long history. There are plenty of resources to help you learn more about how to kayak on our site, but today we’re focusing on funny kayaking quotes you can share with your fellow paddlers.
Kayaking should be funny because, well, life isn’t always so serious. These funny kayaking quotes will help you bring humor to the party next time you climb into your recreational kayak.
Also Read: Funny Fishing Quotes
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Funny Kayaking Quotes
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1. “The storms come and go, the waves crash overhead, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling.”
– George R. R. Martin
2. “Writing, to me, is like kayaking a river. You are paddling down, and you come to a walled-off canyon, and you make a sharp turn, and you don’t know what’s around the corner. It could be a waterfall, it could be a big pool. The narrative current carries you. You’re surprised, and you’re thrilled, and sometimes you’re terrified.”
– Peter Heller
3. “If in doubt, paddle out.”
– Nat Young
4. “Paradise is just a paddle away.”
– Author unknown
5. “Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll go kayaking.”
– Author unknown
6. “Keep your face always toward sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.”
– Walt Whitman
7. “I don’t need therapy, I just need to go kayaking.”
– Author unknown
8. “Stress is caused by not kayaking enough.”
– Author unknown
Also Read: Best Fishing Quotes For Couples
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9. “A rough day at sea is better than any day at the office.”
– Author unknown
11. “Kayak more, worry less.”
– Author unknown
12. “Always assume I’d rather be kayaking.”
– Author unknown
13. “Life is like the river, sometimes it sweeps you gently along and sometimes the rapids come out of nowhere.”
– Emma Smith
14. “Yes, I do have a retirement plan. I plan on kayaking.”
– Author unknown
15. “I kayak to burn off the crazy.”
– Author unknown
16. “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a kayak and that’s kind of the same thing.”
– Author unknown
17. “The two best reasons to buy a kayak rather than just renting are sunsets and sunrises.”
– Thomas P. Jones
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18. “Learn to kayak because zombies can’t swim.”
– Author unknown
19. “Your kayak doesn’t have an expiration date.”
– Author unknown
21. “Never mess with a kayaker. We know places where no one will find you.”
– Author unknown
22. “Kayaking is the answer. Who cares what the question is.”
– Author unknown
23. “Kayaking is not just a hobby. It’s a post-apocalyptic survival skill.”
– Author unknown
24. “There is nothing””absolutely nothing””half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.”
– Kenneth Grahame
25. “Born to paddle, forced to work.”
– Author unknown
Also Read: Best Compass Quotes
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26. “Paddle faster. I hear banjos!”
– Author unknown
27. “Life’s short, paddle hard.”
– Author unknown
28. “She wasn’t drifting away. She was paddling her own boat.”
– Author unknown
29. “Life’s a river. Grab a paddle.”
– Author unknown
31. “Around every bend there’s a great surprise”¦ you just have to look for it.”
– Author unknown
32. “Some beautiful waters can’t be explored without getting lost.”
– Author unknown
33. “Good things come to those who paddle.”
– Author unknown
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34. “Reality called. So I hung up and went kayaking.”
– Author unknown
35. “Do I want to go kayaking again? For shore.”
– Author unknown
36. “Future me is already complaining that my arms are sore.”
– Author unknown
37. “Kayak Girl: like a normal girl but much cooler.”
– Author unknown
38. “Life is short. Buy the kayak.”
– Author unknown
39. “River life. Because beaches be salty.”
– Author unknown
Also Read: Happy Birthday Fishing Quotes
41. “Never underestimate an old man in a kayak.”
– Author unknown
42. “I’m proof mommy can’t resist kayakers.”
– Author unknown
43. “I kayak because punching people is frowned upon.”
– Author unknown
44. “If it involves kayaking and dogs, count me in.”
– Author unknown
45. “Leave the road. Ride the river.”
– Author unknown
46. “Rapids are white. Rivers are blue. I’d paddle tandem. But only with you.”
– Author unknown
47. “Do I want to go kayaking again? For shore.”
– Author unknown
48. “Paddle solo. Sleep tandem.”
– Author unknown
49. “I’m sure there are things that are more important than kayaking. I just can’t think of any right now.”
51. “Time spent on the water is not deducted from one’s lifetime.”
– Author unknown
52. “I just want to go kayaking”¦and ignore my adult problems.”
– Author unknown
53. “Into the kayak I go”¦to lose my mind and find my soul.”
– Author unknown
54. “I’m on kayak time.”
– Author unknown
55. “A day without kayaking probably wouldn’t kill me. But why risk it?”
– Author unknown
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56. “I go kayaking and I know things.”
– Author unknown
57. “I can load it, launch it, and leave you on the beach.”
– Author unknown
58. “I might look like I’m listening to you, but in my head, I’m kayaking.”
– Author unknown
59. “Put me in a kayak and don’t let me come back until I change my attitude.”
– Author unknown
Also Read: Inspirational Fishing Quotes For Country Girls
61. “Education is important but kayaking is importanter.”
– Author unknown
62. “All I need is coffee and my kayak.”
– Author unknown
63. “I like kayaking and maybe three people.”
– Author unknown
64. “Maybe I’m listening”¦maybe I’m thinking about my new kayak.”
– Author unknown
65. “It might look like I’m working, but in my head I’m kayaking.”
– Author unknown
66. “Kayaking is my break from reality.”
– Author unknown
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67. “Couples that kayak together, stay together.”
– Author unknown
68. “Rock beats scissors. Paper beats rock. Scissors beat paper. Nothing beats kayaking.”
– Author unknown
69. “My broom broke, so now I kayak.”
– Author unknown
71. “If I don’t answer your text, I’m probably kayaking.”
– Author unknown
72. “I don’t need therapy in my kayak.”
– Author unknown
73. “We can talk about anything you want, as long as it’s kayaking.”
– Author unknown
74. “Not today. I’m going kayaking.”
– Author unknown
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75. “Kayakers make the coolest grandparents.”
– Author unknown
76. “Yippie kayak, other buckets!”
– Author unknown
77. “Kayaking because adulting is hard.”
– Author unknown
78. “Kayaking solves most of my problems. Fishing solves the rest.”
– Author unknown
79. “People tell me I like kayaking.”
– Author unknown
Explore: Motivational Kayaking Quotes
81. “I know I kayak like a girl. Try to keep up.”
– Author unknown
82. “Learn to kayak. Because studies show that kayaking makes you more awesome than the general population.”
– Author unknown
83. “WARNING! Too much paddling can make you incredibly awesome.”
– Author unknown
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84. “Kayaking is cheaper than a psychiatrist.”
– Author unknown
85. “She asked me to tell her those three words that every girl wants to hear. So I said, “Let’s go kayaking!””
– Author unknown
86. “Born to paddle. Forced to work.”
– Author unknown
87. “Love many. Trust few. But always paddle your own kayak.”
– Author unknown
88. “Kayakers roll over without falling out.”
– Author unknown
89. “Smooth water does not make a skillful kayaker.”
– Author unknown
91. “Most people don’t want to be saved. Besides, if you keep bailing everybody out, they`ll never learn to paddle on their own.”
– Lauren Oliver
92. “If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle. ”
– William H. McRaven
93. “Six days shalt thou paddle and pack, but on the seventh thou shall wash thy socks.”
– Aldo Leopold
94. “I should buy a boat”¦and a boat trailer and a truck to tow it and boat insurance and gas and”¦I should buy a kayak.”
– Author unknown
95. “Why I Paddle Reason #0912: You can always find your car in the parking lot.”
– Author unknown
96. “Kayak in tributaries. Rivers are too mainstream.”
– Author unknown
97. “What do you mean your paddling trip went so well you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!”
– Author unknown
98. “Certain members of the kayak club are adrift, so to speak.”
– Author unknown
99. “Did you hear about the big paddle sale? It was quite an oar-deal!”
– Author unknown
101. “Did you row today? It’s PADDLING not rowing!”
– Author unknown
102. “Let’s kayak where the WiFi is weak.”
– Author unknown
103. “My kayak brings all the buoys to the yard.”
– Author unknown
104. “As one goes through life, one learns that if you don’t paddle your own kayak, you don’t move.”
– Author unknown
105. “If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.”
– Author unknown
106. “Why don’t they allow buffalo on kayaks? Because it’s a ka-YAK, not a Ka-UFFALO!”
– Author unknown
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107. “Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.”
– Author unknown
108. “I never intended to become addicted to paddling my kayak into whirlpools. It’s just something I got sucked into.”
– Author unknown
109. “My wife had two kayak paddles and asked me which one I wanted. I said I’d take either/oar.”
– Author unknown
111. “Being a dad is a whole lot like kayaking. The same way the water supports you, you have to support your kids.”
– Michael Keaton
112. “In the wise words of the legendary outdoorsman Bear Grylls, “It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Everyone goes kayaking sooner or later.”
– Author unknown
113. “Real heroes don’t wear capes. They have kayaks under their feet.”
– Author unknown
114. “Come paddle with us. Let’s just say you’re going to have a good time whether you’re going up the river or down it.”
– Author unknown
115. “Getting away from the hustle and bustle of life requires a kayak.”
– Author unknown
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116. “Getting a new kayak is like getting a fresh slice of pizza. Even though you’ve had it before, it’s still pretty perfect.”
– Author unknown
117. “Life is like a kayak. The hard part comes when you don’t know which way to paddle.”
– Author unknown
118. “A kayak is the hippest way of going nowhere I can think of.”
– Marshall McLuhan
119. “Toss your coffee in the water and you’ll be addicted to kayaking too.”
– Author unknown
120. “I love kayaking because it’s the only sport where I can see stuff people don’t even know is there.”
– Author unknown
Funny Canoeing Quotes
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1. “Canoe believe this view? Oar am I just seeing things?”
– Author unknown
2. “Never trust a person whose feet are dry and who is paddling a canoe.”
– Author unknown
3. “About the best reason I can think of for owning a canoe is that it can take me into the wilderness. And what, you may ask, is so great about wilderness? The silence, for one thing.”
– Robert Kimber
4. “I’ve always thought that you should concentrate on paddling your own canoe.”
– John Dos Passos
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5. “A canoe does not know who is king. When it turns over, everyone gets wet.”
– Malagasy proverb
6. “Anyone who says they like portaging is either a liar or crazy.”
– Bill Mason
7. “Wherever there is a channel for water, there is a road for the canoe.”
– Henry David Thoreau
8. “First rule of canoeing: never lose the paddle.”
– Author unknown
9. “portaging is like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer: it feels so good when you stop.”
– Bill Mason
10. “The goal of a wilderness canoe trip should be to collect enough of the wilderness experience to last the whole year” A full cup is the only way that the winter can be endured.”
– Greg Went
12. “Originality is unexplored territory. You get there by carrying a canoe – you can’t take a taxi.”
– Alan Alda
13. “It’s quite an oar-deal to be this in love with nature.”
– Author Unknown
14. “What sets a canoeing expedition apart is that it purifies you more rapidly and inescapably than any other. Travel a thousand miles by train and you are a brute; pedal five hundred on a bicycle and you remain basically a bourgeois; paddle a hundred in a canoe and you are already a child of nature.”
– Pierre Trudeau
15. “You can’t fire a cannon from a canoe!”
– Charles Poliquin
16. “No man can paddle two canoes at the same time.”
– Bantu proverb
17. “If there’s a place, canoe there.”
– Brent Kelly
19. “The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.”
– Dave Barry
20. “Ah Jenks? It’s not a lake, it’s a friggin’ freshwater ocean. Did you see the size of the tanker going under the bridge when we came into town? The wake from it could tip us. I’m canoeing it unless your name is Pocahontas.”
– Kim Harrison
Final Thoughts
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Keep it fun on your next kayaking adventure.
Whether you’re paddling a touring kayak or taking your fishing kayak out with fellow anglers, we hope you take these funny kayaking quotes with you to share wherever you paddle next!
